chuckolate

Dear girl in the car next to me singing along to Adele, You should really try that in your darkened bedroom with a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I totally want to have sex with LL Cool J. That proves I'm not racist, right y'all?

My mom just called me from Bourbon Street. It's official. Her life is now more exciting than mine.

Re: the tweet that my mom's life is more exciting than mine ... I just got a ticket to Hunger Games midnight opening .. score 1 for me!

The internet has been down for an HOUR here at work. Chinese factory workers, I don't even want to hear it about poor working conditions.

There are lots of pluses to being single on Valentines Day. For example, I plan on setting a personal record for crying-masturbation today.