chuckolate

I totally want to have sex with LL Cool J. That proves I'm not racist, right y'all?

There are lots of pluses to being single on Valentines Day. For example, I plan on setting a personal record for crying-masturbation today.

Dear girl in the car next to me singing along to Adele, You should really try that in your darkened bedroom with a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

My mom just called me from Bourbon Street. It's official. Her life is now more exciting than mine.

Re: the tweet that my mom's life is more exciting than mine ... I just got a ticket to Hunger Games midnight opening .. score 1 for me!

The internet has been down for an HOUR here at work. Chinese factory workers, I don't even want to hear it about poor working conditions.